“Taking others’ interest into concern not only helps them, it helps you” – Dalai Lama

That’s a lesson my mom taught me by example when I was a little boy. I’m not even sure she knew she was teaching it, but she was. It’s the sort of lesson you learn, and then relearn ..again and again.

It’s also the sort of lesson you 2nd guess a lot. But inevitably , if you’re paying attention, it bares out to be true.

It’s 4:20 AM and I’m laying here sleeping like a rock doesn’t. My mind is tumbling over over and over, like a toy boat on the sea. Over the crest and troughs I see past, present and future possibilities scattered about, all sense of linear time is lost.

My mind drifts from one thought to the next, tomorrow’s scheduling challenges at work and how to pull four rabbits out of one tiny hat (it’s a very nice hat), to building tree forts as a kid, day dreaming in 6th grade science class of dungeons dark and caverns deep, how to afford getting a new roof put on the house before the rains start again, what’s my 2 and half year old nephew Kai dreaming about right now, and what will the world look like for him? Will he build tree forts when he’s ten? I think of my brothers and of Josiah Harlan, the man who would be king and was. And the unrelenting pain in my neck. All while the jazzy 60s Spiderman cartoon theme loops over and over in the recesses of my brain, and instantly I’m 7yrs old again setting cross legged in the 6am glow of a big cathode ray tube and slurping milk from a tasty sweet bowl of cereal …Damn I’d kill for a bowl of Lucky Charms, but I’m glad I can relive the favorite shows of my childhood on a nice flat screen.

Life can be a kick in the balls. And it’s too fucking short. But this night sure seems to be going on forever.

Sometimes the best effort and intentions can seem to get you nowhere. And sometimes along that path to nowhere you discover amazing things.